…wild mercy, wild peace…these are the superheros of our future

The eyes of the future are looking back at us and they are praying for us to see beyond our own time. 

They are kneeling with hands clasped that we might act with restraint, that we might leave room for the life that is destined to come. 

To protect what is wild is to protect what is gentle.

Perhaps the wilderness we fear is the pause between our own heartbeats, the silent space that says we live only by grace. 

Wilderness lives by this same grace.

Wild mercy is in our hands.

—Terry Tempest Williams

And before I get started, I am going to share one more quote from Terry Tempest Williams, as both of these references set my tone for this afternoon…

“To be whole.

To be complete.

Wildness reminds us what it means to be human, what we are connected to rather than what we are separate from.”

~ testimony before the Senate Subcommittee on Forest & Public Lands Management regarding the Utah Public Lands Management Act of 1995. Washington, D.C. July 13, 1995.

“The eyes of our future are looking back at us…”, it is this that echos repeatedly.  It is not by chance that I have the eyes of my children at the top of my blog…it is in these eyes that I see wisdom, hope, acceptance, playfulness, love and so much more.  But here too, I do see the plea, the realization that what is happening now defines what the future holds.  Are we looking beyond our time?  I see the questioning and wonder as we drive past another construction site, another road widening, as we pass the scars from trees being cut so that leaves aren’t in the way, when we find a dead fish at the river, when we see trash on the road, when we smell the stinch of chemicals in the air, when we….

We can’t sit by and wait for some magic moment or law that will make everyone join together in a unified fashion and  ’protect our planet’.  It is my job , my kids job and your job to do what our government will not and the current generations as a whole are not doing.  Notice I did not say ‘cannot’, I said will not and are not.  We have tremendous potential but we can not look to any given office or group to protect or enable that potential, we have to do it ourselves.  As I wrote those words the thoughts that sprang to mind were – But those offices in government and those groups are made up of people just like me, to ‘help’ people just like me.  Why, oh why, don’t they make a change?  I will leave that question sitting right there as it is, ’cause I absolutely don’t want to dive into a political debate.  Honestly, I still have far too much pointed historical and philosophical waxing to do before I become of authority and begin to fill in the spaces of the why’s and even the how’s of our governments mistakes.  What saddens me is to hear my children talk of being President or Mayor or such so, “I can stop people from hurting the planet, from cutting down the trees for no reason, so I can help the animals going extinct, so I can tell people to care.”  Who has given my little gems this ideology that politicians are superheros out to save the world?

So if I cannot, my children cannot and you cannot rely on those upon the horses of high….who can we rely upon?  OURSELVES!

What is it we do each day that brings us closer to making this change?  At what point in any given day or in our lives do we stop to recognize and acknowledge that which we are connected to?  This most certainly requires us to stop separating ourselves from other people, other place, other things.  But even more, it requires us to stop separating ourselves from our actions, we have to own who we are, what we do and our lasting impact.

By connecting to our actions we realize that we must use the restraint that Williams speaks of.  We have to use restraint in what we go after.  Why do we need the biggest, the best, the quickest, the easiest, the newest and the most popular?  How much is this costing us monetarily?  How much is it costing our future? our children’s future?  We have to own that each and every move we make leaves an imprint on our now and on our tomorrow and on every tomorrow after that.  While we cannot necessarily undo all that has been done, we can work to lessen the long-term impact by stopping and thinking about each and every ripple we create.

We have to enable Wild Mercy and we have to embrace Wild Peace.  Yes, we HAVE to.  Otherwise we allow the madness to continue, we perpetuate the actions that have gotten us here in the first place.   Mercy and peace…two states of mind and of being that are defined individually with words like compassion and tranquility.  How often have we paired ‘wild’ with ‘compassion’ and ‘tranquility’?  Never?  Why not?  Wild in the active sense, is unruly and even extravagant…hmmm, unruly mercy and extravagant peace…what possibly could be wrong with this?  Another approach… ‘the wild’ is synonymous with the wilderness….the wilderness equivocates to peace, at least for me.  With all of this said, I have to ask ‘why?’  Why have we not been sharing, salutating, wishing and chanting of wild mercy and wild peace?  Or have we and I am just now enlightened to this most beautiful greeting and state of being?

Wild Mercy and Wild Peace to you, to me, to everyone…what a wonderful way to BE!

Our wildly peaceful spot on the Cahaba river

Oh and yes, I must say thanks to my friend, if you happen across this musing of mine…thank you for sharing together the words wild and peace…Terry Tempest Williams speaks of ‘wild mercy’ and you salutate with ‘wild peace’….such a tremendous pairing that has often left me thinking of the beauty of contradictions and the continued possibilities of living outside the box.  So…’Thank You’ and know that I smile at this most delightful and contradictory salutation each time I use it. 

Wild Peace my friends….

It really will come…

It is here in the wee hours of the morn that I sit tucked away in our cozy mountain cabin…contemplating…reflecting…typing.

Outside our window...just like we imagined

The snow is falling gently outside, sprinkling powdery fluff all around…leaving a magical spell in its wake.  I, we, asked for this…and it came.  No, I am not professing that I, or my fellas, asked for snow and voila, it snowed!  Although, I will own up to the fact that we sometimes do a secret snow dance!  What I am saying is that quite some time ago, I put it out there, out to the universe that I wanted this very scenario.  I had no idea how it was going to happen, none at all.  Originally when I wished for this, I was married and living in the foothills of South Carolina.  Then I ended up, years later, divorcing and plopping down in Alabama with my little family and from there I wished for this.  And from there, my fellas wished for this.  But, we still had no idea how to make it happen.

Well, as you have gathered by now…it happened.  Believe you me, it was by no scenario that I could have ever dreamt up and it was not immediate.  But, that is part of the fun, that is part of the magic…putting it out there and just letting it, allowing it to come.  If we try to manage it too closely, try to mold it too much with our need to control or our need to know all of the details, the hows, the whys…well then, that is where we mess things up and slow them down…believe you me, I know what I am talking about on this one!  Let me give you a little example…

The week after Thanksgiving, our chest freezer went into the light.  I immediately began plotting how to go about securing another one…I needed to find a way to budget it in, I needed to figure out a way to get rid of the really large, really heavy dearly departed old one AND I needed to figure out a way to get a new one (used, new to us) here since we don’t have means or quite the muscle to transport something of that size.

A week and a half ago, the day after Christmas, I started taking actions (ones other than thought) to make this happen…I posted on a local swap/sale board that I was in search of a chest freezer…I began stalking the local Craigslist boards….I talked with friends and told them what we were looking for.  Well, almost immediately upon posting on the local swap board I got a message…a kind lady had a large newer working chest freezer.  She wanted just a little more than I really wanted to have to pay for it, but I wasn’t seeing anything in any of the forums that was priced any cheaper.  So, I explained that I would need to secure someone to remove our old one and someone to help move the one that she had.  I said I would let her know if I was able to work all of this out.  Just after she replied to my post, two people also posted replies about a freezer that was on a different swap board, it was much less expensive, but it was an upright…I had to have a chest freezer, so I thanked everyone, but dismissed this option.

Saturday, I had a repair man over to look at my intermittently working oven…while he was here, I continued putting out my intent and mentioned to him that we were looking for a freezer…as we talked I told him about the process of needing to remove this non working one, moving a new one, etc….guess what…he wanted the old one, going to come and pick it up in a few days, too, he kindly offered to pick up the one that we buy, if it is pretty local…voila, it is all working itself out.

Move forward to today, I am sitting and working through the budget and am still not pleased with how much I am going to have to pay for that chest freezer and something took me back to my original post on the swap board…I reread it and through the replies that followed…oops, it seems that my intent in my head was one thing, but what I typed was another, ‘, ‘Looking for a freezer – medium to large size.’….hmmm, I did not specify chest, even though it was the only option I had been considering.  So, I glance down at the upright listing suggestion again, it was half the price of the chest freezer…I wondered if I shouldn’t consider it….so I researched online, called a friend or two and asked for use comparissons…I resigned to the fact that we could do without the bit of extra space that a chest freezer might offer and that if an upright was cheap enough now, later on, if needed, we could get something bigger….then I decided to visit the other swap board where the suggested upright had been listed, I found the listing and it was marked down from the original listed price…to me this was a sign, so I called.  The lady and I had a lovely conversation about this that and everything else…I told her we would come look at it on Wednesday and that due to them being on the other side of town, I would need to see if I had still had someone to pick it up, she noted her husband had a truck and would be glad to move it for us if we decided we wanted it; we made arrangements for Wednesday and said our goodbyes.  Now here is where the magic takes place…

About an hour later my phone rings…I recognize the number as the one I had called about the upright, I was puzzled.  When I answered, the lady on the other end said she had talked with her husband and she wondered if she could ask me something…I said sure, wondering where this was going…she and her husband wanted to know if they could GIFT this freezer to me and the boys….she said they were in a position to do something like this and really would love to give this to us…too, her husband wanted it out of the garage and was in the mood to do it now before the snow hit hard, he had a dolly and could help me manuever anything I needed to move to work it in, AND could they come over and  bring it within the hour.  WOW!  My voice broke and I was astonished, I saw it all come full circle, I knew that I had let go of trying to control the how, when, what and VOILA…we now have a HUGE upright freezer sitting in our building and our budget doesn’t have a large dent in it.

Yes, yes…I know…short story long.  But, hey…if you read my introductory posts here on this blog, you were warned that I tend to go on and on.

I am still in awe and I am so very grateful to those kind people and to the universe for giving us exactly what we needed (but didn’t necessarily realize) and to myself for letting go and allowing it to happen…again, a scenario I could not have dreamt up or defined in my little box of thinking and planning.

Law of Attraction…Universal Intent…Kismet…Synchronicity…Just Meant to Be…  No matter how you look at it, what you call it, it is there.   This methodology or practice or intent does not just apply to ‘things’, it applies to all aspects of our lives…people, places, events, situations.

I have long enjoyed quotes about the wisdom of attracting what we ask for.  Yet, I have come across many that dismiss this entire concept.  A dear friend, Tina Rizzitello recently posted a list on her Facebook page Healing the planet with compassion!, this list shares numerous popular quotes and highlights the famous individuals that penned them…

This is just a little sample of the many well known individuals who obviously already knew the ‘secrets of the law of attraction’:-)

Winston Churchill

You create your own universe as you go along.

Buddha

All that we are is the result of what we have thought.

Jesus

It is done unto you as you believe…

Albert Schweitzer  

Man must cease attributing his problems to his environment, and learn again to exercise his will – his personal responsibility.

Martin Luther King Jr  

Take the first step in faith,  you don’t have to see the whole staircase just take the first step.

Gandhi

Be the change you wish to see in the world.

My additions

Henry Ford

Whether you think you can or can’t either way you are right.

Albert Einstien

Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.

William James

The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.

James Allen

Your circumstances may be uncongenial, but they shall not remain so if you only perceive an ideal and strive to reach it. You cannot travel within and stand still without.

Let a person radically alter his thoughts, and he will be astonished at the rapid transformation it will effect in the material conditions of his life.

Napoleon Hill

Whatever your mind can conceive and can believe, it can achieve.

Joseph Campbell

Follow your bliss, and doors will open for you that you never knew existed.

Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.

I could go on with quotes and my own thoughts, but I won’t…I think the quotes above bring home my intent and my purpose for tonight’s writing.

If you think it…it really will come

It takes both old and new….

Happy New Year!  Can you believe it the first day of 2012?!

At this exact time last year, I sat sharing the wisdom and tutelage of my munchkins; their lesson last year on this day was simplicity.  If I didn’t take a moment return to that lesson, how could I truly learn from it?  So, here I sit doing exactly that…contemplating simplicity.

Now is the time that everyone is making resolutions or the new-fangled term re-solutions.  Old adages come into play… ’Out with the old, in with the new.  ‘Put last year behind you.’ …

Why are we in such a hurry to throw out what is old, discard what is not perfect?  We tend to do this not only in life moments/lessons, but with ‘things’ and even people as well.  When in reality, it is the cracks, the tears, the stains and the snags that make these moments, these things and these people so very interesting and unique.  These imperfections play a role in designing the story that goes along with life…thus fusing with the ‘new’ and bringing forth the creation of a most perfect tapestry.

So, with this new year, I am not throwing out the old. I embrace what it has brought me on all paths. I stop and I say, thank you.  I acknowledge that this next ‘new’ moment, thing or person, will too eventually become ‘not so new’ and with that awareness, I cannot fathom the eventuality of throwing out what is yet to be.

If I have a New Year’s resolution/re-solution it would be to make sure that I embrace the old along with the new…express gratitude for what has been, what is and what is yet to be.  Hopefully, this will allow me to be a better person, a better mother, a better friend and a better steward of my environment…in turn, I hope that this allows whatever part I play in someone’s or something’s past, present and future to be a role that makes it more beautiful if only in the smallest of ways.

I leave you with this photo, this tapestry of both old and new…an older brother with his new baby brother…both dreaming and weaving the most beautiful tapestry…

Brothers...my precious boys

HAPPY 2012!!!!!!!

Wisdom comes with experience.

And wisdom helps us improve.

But does wisdom only come with experience?

Not necessarily.

Begin with an open mind and you can gain wisdom even through wise old sayings.

The joy of the jar tickles my nose…

Don’t you just love how being in the moment is so intoxicating, regardless of where you are and what you are doing?  Without you even realizing what is transpiring…the moment reaches out and takes you by he hand, by the heart, by the ears, by the eyes and yes, by the nose.

At this moment…I am in our loft, sat in my big 12-year-old leather chair that is well-worn and loved, to be discarded by many as ready for the dump, but here it sits embracing me as I type, something it has done for many a year now.  This chair was a first purchase in the first stage of a new avenue of my life…it has since followed me through many stages and traveled many an avenue…serving my sweet lil’ family quite well.

My munchkins are chuckling in the background.

Our festive sleigh lights don the balcony and stair railing blinking rhythmically almost as though they are encouraging me to type faster so that I can keep their pace.

The sun is setting on this winter day, inviting the chill to taunt us once again with what is yet to come.

I sit taking this all in, peacefully allowing myself to be wrapped in the bliss of the moment…when, something grabs my attention, or rather my nose’s attention…that smell, the smell of winter…while the dawn of winter means much is going away, it is only paving the road for all that is starting anew, it is a beautiful, unmistakable crisp fresh scent, that is new to me.  While I have experienced many a winter, I have yet to experience one in the moment of the mountains…what a joy this is!  But wait…there is more….scents from the crock pot piping away in the kitchen…the bubbles of the dishwater, having just been rinsed from the dishes sat drying in the rack….and oh yes, my kombucha…the wonderfully embracing fragrance of Echinacea and herbs jumping around, pineapple, more herbs and a touch of mint leaping up right after.

While I have been thinking of jotting something down about the scents of winter, it is in reality my kombucha that brought me to my blog this late winter afternoon.  I am sipping it from a small old Ball mason jar…does that add something to it?  Why, yes, I believe that it does.  That little cupped neck of the jar, you know the spot that I am talking about, it is as though it was hugged there around the neck, just for the purpose of your nose, of course…it almost traps the fragrance of the contents and holds it there for your nose to savor.

Fond memories waft up of drinking out of a mason jar in my youth – youth of this life or one previous I could not tell you, but memories so very fond all the same.  Moments of peacefulness and stillness as my nose is being tickled and teased by what is yet to come…tastes, memories and more moments.  Shall I ever again sip from anything other than a mason jar?  If so, imagine what I might miss…

Now…do allow me to make mention of the fine local peeps that made the very kombucha that I am drinking this afternoon…Asheville NC’s own Buchi, flavor Air….while I do enjoy brewing my own kombucha, these folks mix and mingle flavors in a way I can’t even begin to…proud to know they are locals!

Readying of the toes, ears and noses…

Our move has taken us from winter highs of mid to upper 50s to an average of upper 30s…wowza!!!  Boy oh boy do we have a change ahead of us.  Instead of warmish one day and a threatening freeze the next, we are going to have a constant cold.  We are all quite excited about the concept of a crisp and chilly winter…yet, I wonder, will I truly be ready?  I keep mulling it over…what is a necessity, what is a waste…where do I start?  According to my neighbor and the Farmers Almanac, the first frost hits right around Halloween…umm sista, that is about five weeks from now!

I try to imagine what it would be like to live in the yurt or other alternative abode, how the toasty heating accommodations would be in tune with all that surrounds us…one day my dear, one day….in the meantime…

The boys run around burning up most of the time…even in the winter I have usually had to tell them to put their clothes on…I am thinking that they are gonna need lots of layering options…this way they can peel it off or pile it on as needed, long johns are just too comfy not to add to this mix.  I have managed to snag a couple of nice winter coats for them already…still on the prowl for reliable and comfy go-to slippers…also comparing winter boots, pros/cons….headware, now the jury is still out on this, they are on me to knit them some funky hats and scarves, I need to dig through my wool and see what I can do (ummm, sista, five weeks, just sayin’!)…then there are the phalanges, seems we may need two different types of warmers for these – day to day and snow play….gahhh, what am I forgetting?!  SOCKS!  Okay, okay, I am going to try my best to not have them bundled up and falling over like poor sweet Randy…

I can't put my arms down!

Then when it comes to me…I do love the cold, but dang I freeze my tushie off!  My nose longs for Eskimo kisses, yet is generally unappealing with it’s red hue and puppy dog dampness…my ears feel like ice cubes attached to the sides of my head…my toes, well they are a lot like my nose (I am sure they are unappealing as well)…if I get those knitting needles a clinking together, I am seeing some leg warmers in my future…and my hands, well they do say, ‘cold hands, warm heart’…

Too, I have to suss our heating sources for the winter…oh how I wish we had some sort of wood burning option – wood stove or fireplace.  I mean come on…a cabin in the woods without the scent and glow of burning embers?  Something very wrong with this picture.  We do have a propane fire place…I continue to be warned as to the expense of this method, I am happy though that this is more environmentally friendly than oil…we have some energy efficient heaters and such…too there is always the loft, up high we have a hammock there as well, along with a sewing machine, loads of yarn and knitting needles, a big ole’ bookshelf full of books and windows with a view.

I need one, maybe two more comforters…I do wish that my 12 year old down comforter had not seen its last days…got quilted liners for the hammocks (that chill can get your booty baby)… plenty of warm-ya-up throws all about the house…sussing curtains for the sliding glass door and windows.

I just had tires put on the car…getting the brakes done in two weeks…going to check the antifreeze…buying a portable battery charger…have neighbors with a tractor (and a four wheeler and sleds!).

I suppose we are as set as we can be for the wonderful snuggly playful cold days that lay ahead…no snowmen on the horizon for us, it will be snow families and an igloo if we can figure out how to successfully construct it.

Just like cakes, onions and ME!

Bring it on Jack Frost!

Gasp…the viciousness of the poison leaf discovered in our magical forest…

It is hard to believe that I will be turning 41 this month and in all my years I had never been effected by or seen a truly terrible case of poison leaf exposure…until two weeks ago.  Here is what I first saw…

In Dylan's eyes....

Sweet Dylan started getting it into his eyes, evidently approx 2 days after exposure and woke one morning with a puffed face, feeling very uncomfortable…the previous day had just been unknown red blotches…

Dawson all over his face...

That sameThursday morn, here is Dawson.  As you can see, he is miserable.  What you can’t really see is that his left cheek is swollen almost down to his shoulder-blade, there under his ear.  His left ear is also quite large. So, how did this start and me not have an idea?  Where we lived in Alabama, there was poison oak that grew along our fence line and  if I didn’t get it all pulled, no one ever had much more than a slight rash.  When this reaction you see here occurred, we had been living here right at two months and we hadn’t had anything come up. The Tuesday evening prior to these pictures, the boys had been building miniature dog and fairy houses right along the drive where they always play.  They used leaves and twigs that had broken off in a storm along with rocks and such.  Nothing new, nothing unusual.  After inspection and questions, seems they did go outside the norm and actually pull some low-lying leaves to build with….ahh, the culprit. This extreme exposure incident has led me to research the poison leaf – ivy, oak, sumac.  Curious, what is its purpose?  Has it been used as a weapon in warfare?  I mean come on, I am as passive as they come, but I can only imagine what damage could be done with the oil from these vicious leaves. Here is what I have found… – you can be allergic one day and not the next.  Now this makes sense, because, as I said, I have never had a problem with it and the boys have had contact previously and had little to no reactions. -  is found in every state except Alaska and Hawaii…two different place of exquisite beauty that avoid this invasive leaf – the urushiol oil is the toxin that makes you itch – the oil is all over the plant..stems, roots, leaves=- in it’s pure form, the amount that you could fit on the head of a pin could make 500 people very miserable - urushiol, due to being an oil, can linger on clothing, etc for up to a year – the rash is not contagious (so I must have gotten it from their clothes) – the side effects last from 5 days to 6 weeks – its purpose…the berries feed the birds and small animals, the mass of vines provides shelter…it helps the ecosystem, I mean hey who can knock that, right? – Oh and a final note…not itching helps prevent the spread of the rash…now tell that to a 6 and almost 8 year old, shoot to me even!  We are still itching more than 2 weeks in! As a side note:  I awoke the Saturday morn after these first two pictures were taken, to a swollen and itchy face and a rash spreading, or being spread by my itching. So how does one combat this?  The resounding cure that I kept hearing, but have still not gotten my hands on yet, is Jewel Weed.  This plant actually can grow nearby the poison leaf, so cool how nature works, gives us an itch and provides the remedy right next to it. Baking soda paste, epsom salt  and oatmeal baths soothe and relieve distress from itching.  Also, neem oil is a good remedy, soothes and heals.  Initially I made a mix of neem oil, coconut oil and eucalyptus and applied it to each of us regularly. But, my problem was twofold…the pictures above were on the Thursday before Labor Day weekend, the boys were leaving Friday to spend a long weekend with their day, to return on Monday.  Well, dad doesn’t buy into natural, period.  He was not willing to put the oils on them, so I had to take a step that I really didn’t want to do.  I took them to the doctor, found out that the poison had become systemic, evidently entering through the eyes, they were prescribed steroids.  I filled the script knowing it was a simple solution that their father would follow.  YUK, I know, I am working now to help get as much of this out of their system as possible. Dylan, he ended up clearing up pretty quick, still only itches a little here and there.  This is especially good as his sensory response to situations of this nature can sometimes be rather overwhelming for him. I wish I could tell you that Dawson fared as well…but, he certainly did not…

Poor sweet Dawson at the tail end of poison leaf...

This photo was taken last night.  Here his ear has actually healed a great deal.  The irony is we had looked at pictures of people with poison leaf exposure and thought them unbelievable, until now.  So many people have commented that they have had the same experience, amazing, we had no idea. This past Saturday, we went to a park with a friend…I later learned from Dawson that the kids were being cruel because of his rash…so much so, that he opted out of Cub Scouts on Tuesday night, he is loving working with wood just now, this told me he really was bothered by the looks, questions and comments. So, the moral to the story here is…don’t get comfy and think you are immune to it (if you have been in the past), educate yourself and your kids, and the final step…if you really want to stay away from it, start packing and move to Hawaii or Alaska as soon as you are done reading this (when I share this with my kids and they will be packing, either spot would please them). Most of my research I found and more was summed up in this final article that I came across at outdoorplaces.com  http://www.outdoorplaces.com/Features/Hiking/poisonivy/

Stuff ~N~ Stuff …& a turtle named Yurtle

Stuff…do you have lots of it?  Do you have drawers for it?   Cabinets full of it?  A closet dedicated to it?  Is it in your console or glove compartment of your car?  Do you carry it in your purse or briefcase?  Are there boxes of it in your attic, garage, storage building?

Stuff is not neccessarily junk, but it is just that – STUFF.  We buy it or bought it or accumulated it with a purpose.  But, it seems that purpose is no more or really isn’t a purpose after all.

I know I said in my last post, that this next post was to be about pictures of the new place – lots have asked about these.  Yet, here I am talking about stuff and all of the places that we find to stuff it in.  Actually, this has been a topic with me for some while.  With this last move it was even more apparent that we had accumulated too much stuff. Why?

For us, or rather me, it is because I can see this future potential need and if I hang onto it, I will have it when we need it.  Good planning?  Nah, not when I take inventory of all that was inserted into my car on this last move.  Not when I reflect upon the fact that we lived for two weeks without furniture much less toys, a large amount of clothes, papers, decor, and other STUFF.  I recall sitting in the floor one day thinking, wow, what in that POD is there that I would be in dismay over if we lost it?  There were really only a few things…most things had no immediate purpose or was something that we could not adjust to living without.

Now, we did lose some memorabilia in the move, some important documentation, some photos, etc.  But, in time, I am sure that we will accumulate more.

It is my belief that with all of the stuff and in all of the places that is stuffed with the stuff, that there is an energy that is attached, a negative energy that takes hold and can only be cleared as you begin to clear the stuff out.

So, as I am sat looking around me, still unpacking…I am making a concious effort to release the stuff and the negative energy that is hanging on to it.  I want to say thanks for being in our path in case we needed it, but to let it go with the intent that when we need it, if we ever need it, that it or something comparable will return to us.  Maybe this is easier said than done…time will tell.  But how are we gonna pack up and head off to live in that yurt if we have all this extra stuff hanging about?

Inside is sure to be a turtle named Yurtle

North Carolina or bust…

What a journey these last months have been…

How often I found where I should be going only by setting out for somewhere else.  ~ Buckminster Fuller

Let me back things up a bit – We ended up in Alabama after the kids father and I separated.  Upon arrival, we ended up in suburbia, not our cup of tea.  But then we journeyed on, eventually ending up in a rather green suburban town, where I ran a pretty successful ecofriendly cleaning & green living business while the kids dabbled in the Montessori and Waldorf philosophies.  From there we ended up on the 100 acres…the kids and I left the 100 acres (no Pooh, Piglet, Roo, Tiger and Eeyore were not around, but there was Kismet, April, Milkshake, Cahaba Lily and Ruby) two years ago this October and ended up in a refuge of sorts…a very rural town not too far away from where we started.  Living without the livestock, the land, the night sounds left us all wanting and yearning for somewhere that was not yet known.  What we did know was to make the best of where we were and know that something better was around the bend through the dust.

Those 21 months were painful to say the least…we searched and searched for a speck of dirt that we could call home.  Eventually, I quit looking, at least there anyway.  I resigned myself to the fact that we would be gone before years end, to where, I was not sure.  After landing a good sized web design and ecommerce gig, I saw a way to get away.

So, here we are in North Carolina, four – yep, count ‘em four Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina – state lines later.  How here?  Why here?

How – Craigslist.org and fate or kismet, as I like to call it.

Why – First off, the climate.  Due to his Autism and sensory challenges, Dylan’s lil’ body does not regulate to temperatures like most folks.  He does not cool down like you and I.  His neuro wanted him to drink 120 oz of water a day there in that heat index of 110 degrees.  We had to keep a close eye on blood pressure dropping, electrolytes getting depleted – Dylan, Dawson, me – all of us.

Why – Second factor, my life many moons ago…I worked as an advertising & marketing rep for a company in SC, had to live in Asheville 4 months out of the year, 2 years in a row – loved it!  So, looking in this area seemed natural.

Why – Third factor – Dawson truly disliked the extreme heat and humidity in Alabama, we all 3 did.

While on the search, over one 4 day period in late June, we drove close to 1200 miles.

The result – We finally landed high in the mountains of NC on 6.5 acres in a small cabin in mid-July.

Actually getting here…. wow, I thought that move would never end!  We had one hurdle after another with moving assistance, burglary/vandalism, heat indexes of 110, and so on. Not to mention that it cost us a pretty penny, to say the least.

One weekend, I just said enough!  Loaded the car down as best I could, packed the boys up and took them to their dad’s in SC.  I returned to Al alone, this is when I discovered the house had been broken into.  I finished loading the POD, packed the car as high and as tight as I could possibly manage, pulled out at 3 a.m. on July 10th in the pouring down rain…

NC or bust!

I barely had room for myself in there…the cups in the window – one is hydration, the other is caffeine, the plant did survive and now sits on our mantle, there was a ferrett in a cage between my left leg and the drivers door, Maggie literally sat on my right elbow and shoulder, further over in the corner by the passenger window there is a doggie bag with a rescue Chi/Jack Russell mix in it…outside the car – on the top above the passenger side you can see the bottom of a grey bag next to the suitcase, that bag held our All Clad cookware and Henckles knife set/block…

Due to storms and extreme exhaustion, we didn’t arrive until late morning on the 11th…the day that Dawson turned 6!  Happy Birthday Baby Boy!

Got lots of strange looks, gawks and pointing along the way…

Nope, is not the Clampetts, is the McGahas...

….the back lift gate had to be tied down…on the top is a wagon over a tub with our Christmas decor and ornaments in it…in the luggage carrier is the little bit of food we managed to salvage, board games, toys, etc…on top  of the luggage carrier is part of the boys swing set…the suitcase is full of books…also up there is a rug and a bright pink comforter.

Who is gonna unload all of this?

Fluidity, Being Water…

Yes, I keep stumbling in and out of blogging, no excuses to be listed at this time.  Yet, I am just going with it, who knows, maybe I will get caught up in it….

Flow...

This came to me a few years back, as I reflected upon an article I had recently read comparing life to a river.  As I reflected and contemplated, I realized how closely I resemble being like water as I go about each day, and how much more I strive to be fluid on my path to Oneness.  Here are my thoughts…

Imagine being like water, immerse yourself in what it feels like to be so fluid, so forgiving, so accepting.  Changing from cool to warm, warm to cool depending on whether you are melting snow that is trickling down from the mountain top, or you are settling in the impression of a footprint on the sand or pooling on a rock in the warm sun, maybe you are flowing lazily with the tide or gently through the forest.  No matter your path, without thought or effort, you are nourishing all that is around you.

Naturally water heals and fills.  It reaches out to the roots and up to the sky.  If there is a crack or separation it does not run from that opening but rushes forth to fill it, not knowing or worrying of the depths that could be before it.  It replenishes us and gives us energy when we are weak. Water is so very selfless, it gives to everything that it meets.

 

As it comes to a pass it gains energy and speed as it rushes forth.  A log, a limb, a boulder or a pebble is not a block or a barrier, but something to go around, over, under or through.

 

Joining and merging with another or larger body of water is natural.  Often there is a brief drop in flow just before this meeting, this is simply a moment to heed that greater journey that lies before you. 

 

(Are you becoming water?)

 

Journeying on, you reach the sea or river and come forth in waves or currents, reaching again high to the sky and coming back to join with the ocean; embracing and reshaping the sand and the life around you.

Fluidity is defined as readily reshaped; smooth, flowing; graceful.  Each day I ask for grace and each day I am asking to be fluid like the water.  I ask to embrace change.  I ask to, with out fear or concern, leap into the unknown that lies before me.  I ask to join with that which is greater than anything else, that which is as simple as the air I breathe.  I ask to connect with objects and beings that have been placed in my flow.  I ask this so that I can experience it all, so that I can gain the energy, so that I too can nourish what is around me.  I ask for patience and humility as this helps me in the moments that I assume the form of ice/snow, pool on the rock, in the stream or in the sand on the beach; because, as I wait here I am absorbing, I am learning, I am giving.  I need not fear this stillness, but to embrace it, to become it; for the current or the tide will retrieve me and I once again will move to the next moment and towards that next opportunity of reflection.

The cycle is never ending; droplets form and fall from the sky, meet the earth, take their journey, and once again rise to the clouds, all without question or resistance, only to return once more.  The process is as it is meant to be so why not embrace the fluidity of water, of life, and take this journey with eagerness and grace.

As I walk this path, I take a moment to stop at the stream, sit along the shore, step out into the tide and immerse my fingers, dabble my toes in the water, I enjoy the meeting, I enjoy being at one.

Namaste ~ I honor the place in you
in which the entire Universe dwells

What do Austria, 100 eyes staring back at you and Nanners have in common?

…My kitchen!

I set the scene… New Year’s Eve – At the kids bequest/demand, I woke them before midnight, propped their eyelids open, dressed them, drug them outside and over to a neighbors and enjoyed the “ohhhh & ahhhh’s” at the front-yard fireworks display.

In an effort to extend the excitement into New Year’s Day, I did what I do…set to work in the kitchen.  I had some lovely Boysenberry syrup calling out to be used…this was gifted to us by a dear friend that picked it up from a country store in the hills of Virginia…whoo doggie is it good!  So, I started out by making pancakes or in this case, a pancake, Austrian pancake…

When cooked in the proper dish, a cast-iron skillet, these come out looking like a mini bread pudding with custard settling on top and bread popping out around the custard…alas, I currently only dream of cast-iron cookware, haveth none to use…dreadful (unsolicited) admissions pour forth this New Year’s Day.  I know, I know – more admissions – I should have used clean fork for the photo, it WAS clean, before I took a bite!

The taste of this pancake is divine, the boys could not get over it…a cross between custard pie and pancakes, sprinkled with boysenberries…lips smackin’, kids & mama smilin’!!!!!

Austrian Pancakes

• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 2 tablespoons sugar
• 1 cup milk*
• 3 eggs
• 1 cup heavy cream*
• 2 tablespoons butter

* In place of the milk and heavy cream I used a full can of coconut milk, this was just shy of the full 2 cups, so I made up the difference with some Italian Sweet Cream coffee creamer that I had on hand.

1. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C).
2. In a medium bowl, stir together the flour, salt and sugar. Pour in milk, eggs and cream, and stir into a smooth batter. Meanwhile, melt margarine in a cast iron skillet. Pour the batter over the melted butter.
3. Place the skillet in the oven, and bake for 35 minutes. The pancake will rise to form a bubble in the middle (this really happened,so cool!)
4. Remove from the oven, and let cool until the pancake sets, or goes down. Cut into pieces, serve with maple syrup and enjoy!

Now on to the 100-eyed peas for good luck!

light bulb moment – 100-eyed peas…such a reference could proved enticing for young kids to eat said veggies or…

give them the exact excuse they were looking for not to eat beans and okra – proceed with caution

Our good luck meal consisted of a mess of black-eyed peas, okra and maters served up with pipin’ hot cornbread.  I really didn’t use a recipe here… dired beans, frozen okra, organic Italian style diced tomatoes, loads of garlic, turmeric and a veggie soup base.  I soak my beans overnight and then I KEEP the water and cook them in the water they have soaked in.  I rinse them before hand so debris is not an issue.  Too, think about it… vitamins and nutrients have to escape into the ‘soak’ water, why oh why would I want to throw those goodies down the drain?  As I often do, I opted out on the ham hocks for seasoning and it still turned out awesome… earthy, savory, flavorful!

On to yet another star of the show… Nanner Pudding!

fresh from the oven

(Is it jsut me, or does it look like that lil’ lady on the canister in the background is eyieng my puddin’!?!?!?!?!?)

Nanner Puddin’

Ingredients needed:

Nilla Wafers - I use only the real thing here, name brand, in frugal mode I have tried with off-brands and no way, no how did it pass muster… guess I need to find a good recipe and make my own.

Ripe Nanners – Personal preference for me is to use ones that are already showing a good bit of brown on the peel… not ripe enough gives a twang… too, my tip, cut off the very ends of the banana, I just pop theses in mine or the kids mouth as a precursor to what is yet to come, I have determined that the ends tend to have this odd bite to them when they are cooked.

Homemade Nilla Pudding – Recipe below is written doubled… NO, do not under any circumstances substitute boxed vanilla or banana flavored pudding… powdered substitutes are not allowed in this recipe and will promptly implode if employed.

Egg White Topping –  For the life of me, I don’t know why, but there is something about the simplicity of ‘meringue’, recipe below

Old Fashioned Vanilla Pudding

• 1 1/2 cup Sugar
• 4 tbsp Cornstarch
• 1/2 tsp Salt
• 4 cups whole Milk
• 6 Slightly beaten egg yolks (retain whites for topping)
• 4 tbsp Butter
• 2 tsp pure Vanilla

Preparation

NOTE – For best results, use a wire wisk for mixing, not a wooden spoon or other utensil.

1. In saucepan, blend sugar, cornstarch, and salt
2. Slowly add milk and mix
3. Cook and stir over medium heat until thickened and bubbly
4. Cook and stir 2 minutes more
5. Remove from heat
6. Stir small amount of hot mixture into yolks
7. Return yolk mixture to hot mixture
8. Cook and stir 2 minutes more.
9. Remove from heat; add butter and vanilla.

If it’s “pasty”, it could be that you haven’t cooked it long enough or that the dry ingredients weren’t blended well before adding the liquid — but don’t overcook after adding the egg!

Topping

• 6 egg whites
• 1/2 – 3/4 cup of Sugar

Beat in mixer until stiff peaks (it stands up on its own) form.

Layer a dish with wafers on bottom and around immediate sides of bottom layer, top with sliced bananas then add a layer of pudding/custard.  Repeat layers 2 – 3 times.  Top with egg white mixture.  Place in preheated oven (350) until browned, remove, allow to sit for as long as you possibly can (5 – 10 mins to prevent excessive running)  before having to steal the first bite.

in my bowl

We ended the day with green salads and a side of savory bread lightly dusted with shredded Parmesan, toasted and served w/ vanilla fig balsamic vinegar and EVOO for dipping. (This was all consumed before photos could be snapped – oh snap!)

The balance of our day consisted of dragons and tamers…. bears, kitties and rabbits stuffed by us… mysteries solved… eggs hatched….webs woven… love and laughter abound.  A yummy and well rounded day…  a beautiful start to the New Year!